I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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