And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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