look no pants
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
