U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
