yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
