At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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