My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
