Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
