her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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