Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize