32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
