you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
