My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
FUCK WHALES
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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