I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
