he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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