Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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