Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
