Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
