Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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