Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
