I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
