I can tuck mytits in my pants
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
