I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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