watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize