My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
