Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
