I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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