I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize