He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
