maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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