She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
