I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
