wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
