Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
