don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
