please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
