Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
