I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
