Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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