So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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