OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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