and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
