Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Houston, we have a blender
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
