It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pants are for mortals
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
