she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
