he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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