wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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