Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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