Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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