I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
