When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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