Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
