College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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