i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
