Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize