It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
