we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize